#42 Random thoughts
When the same thoughts come into our minds they need attention. Repetition is the mother of perfection, so I will repeat those thoughts of mine. Maybe something will sneak in and twist the idea in a way that some of us will get it differently than last time.
I like to observe people, especially people that are around children. I can read so much into that energy created. The hardest part is not to judge anyone involved. Kids are never to be judged but understood. That part is easy for me. I instantly know why a child behaves the way he does. And is never her fault. The adults are my walking miracles that think they are God in front of a child. I just want to step in and remind them: you were a child one day, remember when adults did not have patience with you, when you felt ignored, small, and misunderstood? When you were an innocent soul exploring and learning how this world works?
I wonder what they would answer. I have heard a few explanations and I am guessing that adults who treat kids like they have no rights, no word to say, are just adults that were mistreated in their childhood and they don’t know better. How could they?
We all grew up accumulating beliefs and ways to cruise through life. Our families, teachers, and all social circles influenced the way we saw life. Most of the beliefs are not ours and we don’t realize it until we wake up and ask: why do I believe that? Is it true? Does it feel true to me? Wait a second. What I believe is not helping me. It’s not feeling right. That is not what I want to believe. And the work starts. We do our homework, research, and explore what feels truer to ourselves. Then we change an old belief into something that feeds our soul, that helps us grow and become better than yesterday.
This takes me back to Bruce Lipton’s quote:
I can’t have enough of these words. Please read them as often as you can. If you are a parent save this image on your phone and have it on your screen for a while. It will help you be the parent you never had.
I understand when sometimes you have to say: “because I say so”. But this summer, please, take the time to make your children understand why are you saying so? Give them the motivation for your decision, behavior, and your way of parenting. Children are much more evolved than we ever were and they already know, they feel it. Energetically they are more advanced and we have a lot to learn from them. Please do not confuse them with disrespect and the cancelation of their feelings. They are smart little people who deserve respect and integrity.
When we get down to their level and talk appropriately to their age, they get it. They might even have a better answer than us. Just have patience and listen to some old souls in young bodies. You will be pleasantly surprised to hear yourself say: “You are right. You are so right, sweety. What would I do without you?”
So much more this advice goes with teenagers. Yes, they have a lot going on and a lot more to discover, and they get confused with life, but with a parent that has patience, integrity, and speaks the truth, those young beauties can overcome anything and change the world.
Summer is the time to practice more freedom. Let them figure things out and let them make mistakes. It is OK. You still love them. If school schedule was in the way and you had to kick in to keep it all together, now is the time to let go and practice trust with your children. They can do it.
Summer is the time for you, the parent, to recognize your parenting style and work on combining it with the other styles so you design a new version of an ideal parent. Read post #37 and post #38 so you remember the benefits and liabilities. You have all summer to explore other styles and see what happens. Each style has good qualities, just be careful for the less beneficial to the children. Inform your kids that you want to change your parenting regarding “name the change you want to make” and that you would like their help and cooperation.
For example, you do not want to repeat yourself so many times when you tell them to get off the iPad.
Steps to change it:
let them know what you don’t like
tell them what you want to change
tell them what you expect and what you will practice
inform them what you will do differently
make sure they understand is serious
ask children to help you change it
tell them their part
practice, practice, practice
It will improve. Just work on it. Take responsibility for it and teach the kids integrity by keeping your word and showing them that change is possible and it is a good thing. I trust you will find what works for your family.
I suggest letting family meetings be a priority to talk about what is to be improved in your family. Ask questions, let children ask questions and together you will come up with a plan that could work for all of you. Validate each family member's feelings, hear each other, and change old ways that don’t work into something more enjoyable and easier to follow. Your family deserves this special time to bond, understand, connect, and to work together. Assign summer jobs for each member and take turns. Talk about what works and what is not. With examples of true statements, responsibility, and integrity your children will flourish. The children will adopt these beautiful baseline qualities to live throughout their life. Wouldn’t you be so proud to look back over years and be happy you took the time to train them, to equip them with truth, responsibility, and integrity which are the REAL LOVE we all look for?
When people tell the truth, take responsibility, and act with integrity, is true love for a happy life.
What does love mean for you? Comment and inspire us below:
Re-invent yourself. Be who you would like to be the most.